Recently, I’ve spent some time thinking about when we played the Minsgame in November 2015. You play the game by getting rid of one thing on the first of the month, then two things on the second of the month, then three on the third and so on and so forth. It’s a great way to ease yourself into weeding out possessions that you don’t really need but have been holding onto for one reason or another.
I didn’t expect to laugh at myself so much throughout that month as I purged a ring I couldn’t wear anymore, makeup that I liked the idea of more than the actual wearing of, mystery keys, and more. In my most recent Throwback Thursday post, I mentioned that I’ve moved temporarily and will move again soon. Leaving a relationship and a life that you’ve grown accustomed to isn’t easy, but I know in turn these allow for growth opportunities. In November, I realized I was hanging onto a lot of stuff from when I was married (I got divorced at the end of 2012), moreso because it was in good condition or a gift as opposed to not accepting that the marriage had ended. I’m determined to not let the same thing happen, and I truly hate moving so I figure this is an excellent time to play a modified version of the game so I have less stuff to move when July 1 rolls around.
I’m not intentionally choosing a modified version of the Minsgame, but I’m going to be out of town for work June 9-19 so it just isn’t practical to either work ahead or catch up, although I fully intend to do some digital decluttering during that time. And some progress is better than no progress.
Living in a transitional place feels a little disarming because it will never feel like home. And to be nearly 35 and ask your parents if you can move back in with them is more humbling than I care to think about. On the other hand, I understand how fortunate I am to know I have a place to go if I need one, since not everyone has that. I’ll attempt to remind myself of that the next time my mom tells me I should clean my room. At least now I can do it while drinking a beer!
Still, I look forward to my first night in my new place, and I want to be very intentional about what I bring into that space. As my relationship progressed, and as I look back on it now, I recognize that some serious codependency was happening and I started to lose myself along the way. I allowed my relationship to hold me back from doing everything that I wanted to do, and I understand that I’m the only one to blame for that. But now I have to work on why I let that happen and what I can do to keep myself from letting it happen again. I have an appointment with my therapist this week, and I’m excited to start hashing things out with her. I’ve even already scheduled my next appointment with her at the end of June because I’ll probably need help continuing to work on this, as well as processing my trip.
This won’t be the first time I’ve traveled for ten days, but it’s not going to be like anything I’ve ever experienced. I’m flying to Portland June 9 for the Vegan Beer and Food Festival, and then I’ll drive with the team from Portland to Los Angeles June 13. We’ll have a couple days of downtime, then work time in the kitchen to prepare for the LA BeerFest June 18. And I fly back June 19. It’s going to be a whirlwind but also a lot of time to spend with the same group of people. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my coworkers, but as an introvert, I’m very concerned about making sure I have enough downtime. I’ve never been to Portland or LA, so I know I’ll want to do ALL OF THE THINGS but for my own sanity, I’m going to do my best to keep myself in check.
As I’ve now written this out, I’m trying not to feel overwhelmed by everything that’s going on right now, haha. I want to take things a day at a time and not put pressure on myself to have it all figured out right away. I know I won’t really starting feeling like “me” again until I move, but I also know I’ll land on my feet. That is, once Chloe decides to let me get up.
Here are some recent posts by my MinsgameBOSS cohorts that you may enjoy:
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